FAQ - Freaky Answered Questions
Shall I drop my byte on my foot?
This method of interaction is only for very experienced users and is always
on the owners own risk. If you learn something out of dropping your byte
on your foot this is only covered by the educational license extension.
If you try it without a valid educational license extension please drop
us a note so that we can charge for the extra training you received.
Shall I drop my byte on others feet?
We do not offer a license for this and its strongly forbidden according
to the end user license agreement (EULA) you signed without ever reading
it. We do not offer this kind of license because without extensive training
your victims will not learn from this and even if they would, we could not
charge for it.
What is your mission?
Our mission is the same as our core competence - confusion.
How can I use my byte?
A byte should not be used. A byte is an equal partner and should be treated
as a friend.
Are bytes dangerous?
If they gang together they can become a virus, an operating system or even
an application. Sometimes even worst but nobody who experienced that stayed
alive long enough to tell the story.
What should I do when my byte attacks me?
If a byte attacks you it's most probable that you made it angry. In that
case the byte is right and there is no help.
Do bytes bite?
No, they just want to play.
When I buy a byte can I sell it?
Yes, but you run the risk to get rich and beautiful.
How is the use of my byte limited?
Most bytes are reported to be unfertile. You should not expect to get micro-bytes
by keeping odd and even bytes together.
Do I need to activate my byte?
Activation is game to challenge hackers. We are not in games but do serious
business.
However, you should be prepared that your byte will try to activate you.
Can I use my byte with computers?
Bytes can only be used with the most modern computers. You can put them
on top to avoid that they fly away or are disposed with your old newspapers.
Do I have to feed my byte?
Yes, bytes eat electrons. If you have a TV you can catch fresh electrons
yourself. They are flying around behind the screen. You should only catch
electrons while watching scientific programs. If you feed your bytes with
electrons caught during commercials they will become sick.
How long do bytes live?
We had a sophisticated formula to calculate the lifespan but we can't find
the source code. But you can use our new formula:
x = s*b/3^n
It doesn't matter which values you enter as the formula is generic and the
unit of the result is unknown.
Do I need a cage?
As you are reading this it is highly probable that you need a cage but not
for your byte.
What if my byte gets sick?
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Do bytes hurt?
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Why don't you offer kilo bytes?
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Can I use the bytes for calculations?
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How can I know I can trust you?
We are the good guys!
When will byte 2.0 be available?
This is the internet. Everything is 2.0!
Is a beta available?
See the question before.
Do you offer iBytes or eBytes?
Please go away, nobody likes you.
Can I use the bytes with my LAN/WLAN?
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Are mini or micro bytes available?
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What about nano bytes?
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Why don't you offer gigabytes (e.g. for hard disks)?
If we would offer gigabytes we would offer the REAL stuff (i.e. 1073741824
Bytes). The weight would be to high to ship.
We once tried but the ship sunk.
Background:
Other manufacturers skip the 73741824 heavy bytes and only deliver the 1000000000
lightweight bytes.
What about bio-bytes?
Our chemical engineers are already working on this. But we may not disclose
this now. However, more information is available on our 404 page.
Are bytes save?
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What do you charge for a byte?
If you have to ask, don't worry.
Are bytes legal?
This depends on the parallel universe you live in.
What genders are available?
Bytes are even or odd or not at all.
Was my question silly?
There are no silly questions, there are just silly people asking.
Can I get parity for my byte?
We do not sell parity because we respect the bytes and their right to decide
on their own.
Why is the question I was looking for not listed here?
This is typical for FAQs. The purpose of FAQs is not to answer questions
people have but to sell products or support.
Good FAQs list simple questions nobody would ever ask. This makes the reader
feel smart and safe.
Evil FAQs list very complicated questions (nobody would ever ask). This
makes the reader feel dump and unsafe.
Where is the good version of this FAQ?
This is already the good version. The evil FAQ had to be taken offline because
of reasons we may not publish.
In other words - we forgot them.
What is the AI-FAQ?
The AI-FAQ answers all questions not listed here but there.
Is there anything else I should ask?
Yes!
Are you serious?
Yes!
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